tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8395412900371598642024-03-12T15:47:50.455-07:00The Date Along Projectlalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17224239353585724830noreply@blogger.comBlogger82125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-16626199094218673232010-05-04T12:51:00.000-07:002010-05-04T16:49:20.457-07:00Introductory Post: FrecklesHi, I'm Freckles. I'm a 24 year old female and I've recently decided to give OkCupid a shot seeing as most guys who were <span style="font-style:italic;">seriously</span> hitting on me were either 35-40 years old. A bit too old for my liking.<br /><br />I almost gave up on OkCupid. Maybe I'm super picky, but I don't find men who tell me how lonely they are very attractive. I also do not appreciate my self portraits being criticized, thank you very much. If you like me, don't message me to tell me my photos are all wrong.<br /><br />Finally a message came that was worth responding to. It was well written and it was evident that my profile was read before a message was created. And he was cute, not in his 30s (or 40s+) and intelligent. All good things.<br /><br />Soon, a date was set up. Dinner. My nerves were all frazzled but we clicked pretty immediately.<br /><br />He's from a small-ish town (like I am) and he smiled a lot. We talked about topics that ranged from the silly to the serious. He seemed to find me humorous and I happened to find him charming. <br /><br />So charming, in fact, that I got into his car to continue the date at a bar. We got a few more drinks there and listened to a crazy conglomeration of music. (The music seemed to be mostly from our middle school and high school dance days.)<br /><br />And at the end of the date, we hugged (and then kissed a bit) and we went our separate ways. <br /><br />I've already started the ball rolling on date #2. I hope it goes well, I got good feelings from this guy.<br /><br />For blogging purposes, I've decided his name will be "Jude."Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-90430888442311706702010-04-17T17:38:00.000-07:002010-04-17T19:45:13.467-07:00First post AND first online dateOk so, a little background: I'm a 30 year old woman who recently ended a 2 year LDR with my late husband's best friend. Most of my previous dating experience predates test messaging, Twitter and Facebook and was usually with people who still lived with their parents. I decided I need to actually DATE and be single for awhile. I joined OKCupid about a week ago to meet some guys and have some fun.<br /><br />So far, I turned off the IM within a day or two because it was just distracting, ignored a few guys, messaged a few guys and actually went out with one and need to make plans with another. I'm not much of a drinker (and have this stated on my profile) so my date (let's call him Jargon) and I talked about playing minigolf. When I texted him to see when he wanted to meet up, he called me to say he was getting food with some friends right next to the minigolf place and did I want to hang out that night. I agreed and met him and one of his friends at the restaurant/bar. We're all in different aspects of marketing, so we had some great conversation about work and the industry in general. Jargon is really fond of some of the latest buzzwords and is all about Twitter and Social Media and Community Building. Jargon and his friend have both drinking for a few hours before I got there it seems.<br /><br />After Jargon's friend leaves, Jargon tries to be flirty with me--hold my hand, put his arm around me, etc. I tell him I'm really not ready for anything and he says he's not looking for anything either. I have to explain that I mean I'm not ready for anything physical. Meanwhile, Jargon has been drinking this whole time so is somewhat tipsy by this point. When I express my views on drinking and socializing, he tells me how great drinking and getting high is and how he wishes more people would get high more often! Not really the kind of person I want to hang with or was looking for on OKCupid. Lesson learned: match % is only accurate when people answer the profile questions (honestly).cat of creativityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591142507034138106noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-23080622627922187942010-04-11T07:05:00.000-07:002010-04-11T07:15:38.331-07:00So I'm somewhat out of thisNot because I'm seeing anyone in particular, but rather since I don't have the energy at the moment. Cookies really, really hurt me and my trust in the dating scene. So that started this I guess. And then I was seeing Hair who was nice and all, but we had totally different intentions with it all too, so that was a no. And then I met a wonderful, wonderful girl. Who I stayed the night with, but nothing except kissing happened, mainly due to me being super tired. And now I've heard nothing from her which I'm bummed about actually, damn it I liked her! So now I just don't have the energy for that. Will focus on friends and family and school instead. I'm seriously considering taking a white month from dating. Haha, if you had asked me a year ago, there's no way I'd think I got too tired of dating actually! Who knew?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-56554107193676732802010-03-30T09:42:00.000-07:002010-03-30T09:48:19.959-07:00Out of the ProjectHi<br /><br />It's been forever since I wrote in here. I'm no longer doing the date along as I'm seeing somebody exclusively and it's all rather lovely and we're ticking along nicely. It's not PhD boy from before, it's somebody I dated last year for a couple of months. He writes for a living, so I'm going to nickname him Scribble. I realised that although PhD boy was nice and everything, Scribble makes me much happier and more content, he just *gets* me. And so we've been getting each other for a good few weeks, the sparks are sparkier than with anybody else, he makes me laugh and we give each other butterflies. All the good stuff. Plus hand holding and smooching.<br /><br />If y'all are (un)lucky, I might share my mightmare dating tales from last year. I have the best worst date stories I think.Crafty Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15802634817053870325noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-6372647427849962332010-03-29T18:24:00.000-07:002010-03-29T18:54:43.038-07:00I've taken the plunge.<br /><br />Here's my story: 4 months ago, my boyfriend of 5 years broke it off. I've been getting used to living alone again (the first time in 10 years!) and reconnecting with old friends. I've also been working far too much, and finding myself needing some new social outlets. I've already had a couple crushes- both are totally unattainable dudes who I've known for a long time and admire a lot. One lives across the country, and the other would break a lot of social boundaries (bros before hos, etc). At the prompting of friends and after reading all of the other date-a-longers adventures, I signed up on OKCupid.<br /><br />I find OKCupid to be a strange thing- more or less shopping for people- but entertaining as well. After a couple one liner messages from clueless dudes, I've gotten a couple decent messages as well.<br /><br />I've already got my first date lined up- he seemed to be OKCupid stalking me, then finally sent a message. We have a lot in common (same industry for work); he comes off as a little juvenile and cocky, but he's a chef- I think it's to be expected. We exchanged a couple messages and have chatted on the IM feature on OKCupid. We're going to pub trivia for our date. I think its a great idea for a first date - its a bar we're both familiar with, and we'll have an activity and something to talk about if we get lost for conversation. I'm not convinced I'll like this guy that much, but I've got to get out of the gate at some point, right?<br /><br />So now we come down to the important part: what to wear. Notes- I'm coming straight from work, and this is at a pub where jeans and tees are the norm. Luckily its okay for me to wear jeans at work. Onward with the outfits!<br /><br />#1- casual jeans and awesome red sweater<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_l6rL_e878wQ/S7FXuGB6lmI/AAAAAAAAAAM/mJB8c8CE2yM/s1600/photo-7.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_l6rL_e878wQ/S7FXuGB6lmI/AAAAAAAAAAM/mJB8c8CE2yM/s320/photo-7.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454237073126626914" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />#2- a little dressier jeans and red and black blouse<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_l6rL_e878wQ/S7FX3w2uDqI/AAAAAAAAAAU/fZIocbG7xZA/s1600/photo-6.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_l6rL_e878wQ/S7FX3w2uDqI/AAAAAAAAAAU/fZIocbG7xZA/s320/photo-6.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454237239241215650" border="0" /></a><br /><br />#3- everyone loves the 80's jeans and sweater<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_l6rL_e878wQ/S7FX9UhqtTI/AAAAAAAAAAc/Y2k97KnleOg/s1600/photo-4.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_l6rL_e878wQ/S7FX9UhqtTI/AAAAAAAAAAc/Y2k97KnleOg/s320/photo-4.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454237334715938098" border="0" /></a><br /><br />It will be raining for days, so rain boots are a likely option for shoes.<br /><br />Wish me luck - it's been practically 5 1/2 years since I've been on a date. I'm a little nervous!datingforpretendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05600858264341260660noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-82578184594616567302010-03-28T14:04:00.000-07:002010-03-28T14:13:28.155-07:00Single again!So! Update: no more Lady E, Cookies or other random people. I am single. And now I want to be single actually. Cookies and I broke up whatever we had this Tuesday and have not heard from him since except the odd text. I'm halfways relieved, halfways melancholic. I think it is good though, we were probably not the best match ever (the sex wasn't even that good) I will miss his sweet sweet body though. That's about it. That and (sometimes) feeling like a trophy-girlfriend. I kind of liked that part actually.<div><br /></div><div>I met someone nice this weekend, stayed the night even (no sex though, just saying) :) And it was just super duper nice to be with someone who is</div><div>a) really feminist. And actually understands this thing about social structures and what not.</div><div>b) is really left-wing.</div><div>c) made me breakfast with coffee and everything.</div><div>d) actually made plans with me for meeting up again.</div><div>I.e. was behaving like a decent normal person.</div><div><br /></div><div>I doubt that this will make it into dating. But I have to say this: it was good to get some perspective.</div><div><br /></div><div>I found a note that I had written about a year ago, after the breakup with Fireboy:</div><div><br /></div><div><i>It is ok to be alone too.</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div>And that kind of says it all. It is ok to be alone too. And it really is. I do want someone longterm, but I think it is time to take a break from all the dating, relax, enjoy some "me-time" too. It has been cool though to find out that yes. I am actually attractive. Yes I can go to dates and get asked out again. It is not always me who has to do all the work. And you know what? That is freaking rad!</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-83231593452198935952010-03-28T11:01:00.000-07:002010-03-28T11:08:58.975-07:00Lala's a creepster.So I'm back on OKC after the whole lame Falafel boy thing. Last weekend, I was sick, so I messaged people all day long. Which turned out to be kind of silly because I did not have the time to respond to everyone throughout the week, and the responses were overwhelming. <br /><br />There's a guy, we'll call him PDX. He's new to the area too, but in his profile, he talks about digging the local music scene. It was kind of hard to tell if he had any interest in me, but we exchanged messages about where we get our info from and stuff. And that was it. <br /><br />Anyway, I went out to an album drop on Friday, by myself (though I knew a couple people there), and recognized him. I had already had a handful of beers so I approached him. We danced together, then hit up another bar after the first one closed, then I kissed him! But I was drunk! And all the details are foggy! But he was too, so I don't feel like the awkward, drunk girl who doesn't remember anything. Well, I mean, I am that girl, but at least he's that guy too. <br /><br />So we messaged back and forth a bit on OKC yesterday and decided to try a do-over, one that won't start out as drunkfest. <br /><br />Weird!lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17224239353585724830noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-10997951458700637842010-03-19T15:40:00.000-07:002010-03-19T16:41:49.103-07:00Complete disappointment...So, it's been awhile since my last drunken post wherein I confessed that I drunkenly made out with Falafel Tattoo. Well, since that time, he and I decided to kind of try things out. We saw each other at least once or twice a week, texted/chatted everyday, he met my sister and brother in law, I met his freakin' father, we had plans for weeks ahead of time, etc... all the while we were still trying to get that spark going. So last week, he called and he asked me if I felt that we were kind of trying to force something that wasn't there. I agreed, and we both agreed that we would like to stay friends, since neither of us know many people down here. Which I felt great about, since that's what I thought I wanted the whole time! That was last Wednesday. <br /><br />Well, this morning, my sister (whose friendship HE requested on facebook) directed my attention to his profile, which now boasts that he's 'in a relationship.' Whaaaa? He and I only had that convo <i>nine</i> days ago! <br /><br />So I sent him a quick little note that read, "Just curious about this... I feel weird. I didn't think I would, but I do. Because we only had that discussion, like, a week ago."<br /><br />And his response was long and convoluted about this girl that he pursued all last fall, but she wouldn't ever commit to a relationship. So, apparently, this girl shows back up two Saturdays ago and tells him that she is ready for more. THEN THE NEXT DAY, HE AND I SPENT ALL DAY TOGETHER: AT A PARK, AT DINNER, AT ALICE IN WONDERLAND, MAKING OUT, SPENDING THE NIGHT, HAVING BREAKFAST, etc. (It was two days after this date that he called about being just friends.) He said "I'm sorry the facebook vine communicates faster than I do"... like facebook decided ON ITS OWN to announce to the world about his new relationship. He said "The last intention I ever had was to hurt you or make you feel like shit. I'm sorry I'm an asshole, I guess." <br /><br />So I said "Best of luck in life and love" and I'm pretty sure that's gonna be the end of that communication between us. <br /><br />BOYS SUCK!lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17224239353585724830noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-43817161723002274792010-03-15T16:03:00.000-07:002010-03-15T16:22:52.559-07:00A modern girl?My mom called me "a very modern girl" the other day, in reference to my very hectic dating schedule, and I kind of have to agree. I think/hope that when/if I find someone I really like, one person will be enough for me. After all, this is getting exhausting. Mom also, whisperingly asked "so, uh, I hope you're protecting yourself" Yes Mom, I am. I'm protecting myself, and no I don't sleep with all of them. Hardly any of them actually, and then only very seldomly.<br /><br />Anyways, here is this week's schedule:<br />Monday: shopping with Cookies. Still haven't really decided on him. I really like him and the kissing is great but once we get into bed... bleh. I'm just too observing and so is he. Not that good a match. Still not willing to completely give up though since I actually am starting to like him. He's very refreshing! Don't always know what's going on in his head though, very seldomly know. I hardly think he knows to be quite honest! I tried to add him as a boyfriend on FB but he refused whereupon I upped my dating game again after a couple of slow weeks! And then today (i.e. Monday) he asked me if I was his girlfriend "no dude after you said no I said I'd wait another month again, you can't just always have it your way!" Also I found out he's been seeing another girl (I ran into them this Friday. And she's fucking awesome! I call her Lady E. I kind of think she and Cookies would make a far better couple than me and Cookies, but apparently he doesn't agree. Well that's what he's saying to me, but what should he say y'know?)<br />Tuesday: Cookies again, we're going to " a couples dinner" Scary stuff but should be fun! With some of his friends.<br />Wednesday: datefree night!<br />Thursday: going to a concert with PhD, should be fun! I LOVE the band!!! So if nothing else, that is going to be awesome! I've been out with him two times before. He's super cool, but I don't know if the chemistry is there, or if he's just another shy PhD student... The kino this far has been... non-existent. Not a good sign in my book, but on the other hand he's hilarious, cute and intelligent.<br />Friday: going on a date with Lady E, before we meet up with Cookies. Cookies does not know about this yet. Don't know if I'll tell him either. Should be fun. I hope we don't get stuck on the "so we've both been going out with Cookies for a while now.."-topic. Last time we met we talked about lego, nintendo and the joys of going to gay bars...<br />Saturday: this far free, but I'm hoping for Mystery. Mystery is a guy I met this weekend. And I kind of asked his friend for his number. Now I don't know his friend either but found her on FB after a bit of stalking. I have no idea how to phrase my text though "hello Mystery... I want to go out. No I'm not a crazy stalker" is as far as I thought. Which is not an excellent text. At all. It makes me sound deranged and stalker-ish. Which I'm not!<br />Sunday: this far free<br /><br />This all started out as a way to get me out the door and into the dating world but I think it is getting out of hand. I think that I'll not meet up with anyone new in a while actually, just sort these ones out... And then maybe be by myself for a while. This excercise has taught me that there are a lot of super cool people out there in the world. And that I'm fucking awesome and can get a lot of dates; sometimes I do the asking, sometimes they do the asking. It feels great being asked out! If you meet someone that person doesn't have to be The One, it is indeed ok to just move on to the next one if the chemistry isn't right after a couple of dates. Don't rule people out too quickly. Oh, and even if someone is way better looking than you, you can still be out of their league!<br /><br />All in all: fun times to be had!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-33108264776167746922010-03-01T20:17:00.001-08:002010-03-01T20:33:37.877-08:00New Girl FTWOk you guys, I just disabled my OkC profile. It seems that the new girl and I really hit it off last weekend, and I'm just not really interested in continuing to go on dates for now. Sorry, OkC, it's been fun!<br /><br />But, last weekend was even funner :) We went exploring in some strange industrial parts of Jersey, came back to my house and cooked up a vegan feast, watched movies, talked and talked and talked, and she ended up sleeping over and spending part of the morning as well. What I really like about her - besides that she is really cute and weird and shares a whole bunch of my interests - is that she seems really honest and forthright. She initiated the first kiss - just outright suggested it while we were sitting on this pier - as well as said that she would like to not have sex right away (I agree, for once in my life). We even talked about that whole "oh god, I just woke up in someone else's bed, what am I thinking?" scenario - I've been there more than I like to admit - but somehow the discussion was not uncomfortable or full of pressure, and the next morning just seemed natural and easy. So, although it's too soon to say we're in a relationship or anything, I'm bowing out of this blog and OkC for privacy's sake and to see where things go. Thanks for being such a nice place to vent and spill my guts! I will continue to visit to read what the rest of you lovely ladies are up to. Happy trails!bikingprettyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06656318870184563252noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-85738144778268899562010-02-24T12:52:00.000-08:002010-02-24T13:16:43.147-08:00Last Sunday and the Waiting GameSorry for the delay, I'm sure you're dying to hear about Sunday and how the dilemma was resolved. Of course, y'all were right about it resolving itself, I was just a bit nervous is all. Anyway, what happened was we left the plans deliberately open and ended up meeting up first with my visiting friends and seeing them off, and then taking a long walk around my neighborhood and having a late lunch at a cute neighborhood coffee shop. Things were...a bit underwhelming. I'm not sure if I was giving off a "let's just be friends" vibe or if she was nervous about having just met my friends, or something entirely different (I'm so bad at reading this kind of situation!), but it was exceedingly cordial and non-romantic. The closest it came to being the least romantic was when we kind of linked arms for a bit during the walk, but that was all. No kissing or nothin. Whew! We ended it with, "Well, maybe we'll see each other again," which in my experience means, "Have a nice life!" Which I guess in the context of internet dating is totally acceptable. But of course to me, a person who feels bad even ignoring an unwelcome wink on OKC, feels just a bit cold.<br /><br />Well anyway. The new girl is still away on vacation, but I couldn't wait and sent her a "how's it going, wanna hang out saturday?" email on Monday. She wrote back to say she would be away this weekend as well, but suggested something early next week. So, as usual I am nervous. But we'll see what happens and I will refrain from checking out her OKC profile and thinking about how awesome she is. For the next five days, she does not exist.bikingprettyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06656318870184563252noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-70703578095392297412010-02-21T06:29:00.000-08:002010-02-21T06:33:36.040-08:00Quick updateJust a very quick update:<br />Date with Farce was... ok. Not the best ever, not the worst ever. I'd be up to seeing him again. As we parted ways we just said "ok then, see you 8th of March (since he's going to a party I'm arranging to celebrate that the International Womes Day celebrates 100 year anniversary!)<br /><br />And Waterplant Dude and I are probably meeting up sometime this week. We'll see...<br /><br />And there is maybe another player in the field who I will call Young One. He has some promise for sure; can actually write coherently (big bonus) cute from the pictures I've seen and has a dirty mind (gotta love that) We'll see if it actually ends up in a date some time. As for now, exchanging dirty e-mails is fun! :)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-90572071048341684052010-02-18T10:25:00.000-08:002010-02-18T11:00:10.899-08:00DilemmaSo, Internet, I have a minor dilemma. If you will remember from the monster post of a few days ago, I had a marathon date on Sunday with the ESL instructor and we agreed to hang out again as soon as my houseguests of this week went home. There have been a few texts exchanged in the interim (she sent a picture of a dog at the park with a cute note), and plans were made for Sunday.<br /><br />Then yesterday, a girl I had been messaging with a little bit (and who I thought seemed really rad) invited me to go to a show at my favorite venue in the city. So we ended up hanging out last night and it was...awesome. We have a ton of things in common, from specific interests to general outlook on life. She is really hot in a totally nerdy kind of way and seems grounded and compassionate and spontaneous and quirky. She is pretty much the exact kind of person I want to date, and she said she wants to hang out again. She's going out of town for a week (which is why the last-minute plans last night) but we have plans to take a walk next week.<br /><br />So, what should I do? Would it be disingenuous to go out with the ESL instructor on Sunday if I know I'm kind of smitten with the new girl? If there were no new girl, I think I'd be really excited about Sunday, but now I'm worried that I'll make things awkward. But if I do go on Sunday (which I feel like is the only polite thing to do) and I feel weird about it, what do I say? Ohhhh, I hate hurting people's feelings.bikingprettyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06656318870184563252noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-41210746861157641722010-02-17T15:03:00.000-08:002010-02-17T15:15:02.386-08:00Into the Dating DesertI went into this project presuming that I'd find no one to date in Southern California and instead was bombarded with date requests (not all desireable but date requests none the less). I dreamed of moving north to Seattle where my bohemian personality and Rubenesque body would be more appreciated and geeks would swan at my feet.<br /><br />Given that I just accepted a great job offer in Seattle and will be moving in a month, I switched my OKC profile to list my hometown as Seattle. "Bring on the dates!" I thought gleefully and...<br /><br />Nada. Not a single message, wink, IM, nothing.<br /><br />Being one not content to let the world bypass her, I boldly messaged a few people that looked interesting.<br /><br />One response.<br /><br />Is everyone so coupled up in Seattle that some fresh blood is unnecessary? C'mon people, date me!!Eloquenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325515685968431832noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-17842875380997177932010-02-15T20:15:00.000-08:002010-02-15T22:00:04.640-08:00Dates #2, 3, and 4For some reason, this weekend was packed with dates. Not because of Chinese New Year, and certainly not because of Valentine's day. But it just kind of fell that way, and the coming week will be packed with houseguests, and I just don't like putting stuff off. So, now it's quick and dirty update time.<br /><br />Date #2 with Movie-boy. To refresh your memory: I contacted him first, we geeked out on the first date at an ale house, but I did not see any definite sparks. He called the very next day to suggest a movie later in the week, and heeding the internet's advice, I decided to give it another whirl. So. I'm not going to generalize this particular experience into a definitive answer to the "can spark grow when there's no spark at first," but in this case, the answer is a definite no.<br /><br />The date itself was pretty good. We went to the a la carte section of Whole Foods for a bite, because it's kind of a pain to find vegan restaurants and because it's cheap if you're already going out. We sat upstairs and chatted, then wandered over to the Rubin Museum, which has a great Friday night movie thing where you buy a drink and get to take it into the movie theater which has chairs and tables with little tea lights instead of movie theater seating. The movie was totally weird and kind of hilarious, and I enjoyed the atmosphere, which was equally divided between old couples who are still totally doing date night and young people clearly on first dates.<br /><br />So, Movie-boy kept kind of shifting in his seat every time I would move and I could tell right then that something was up. I should have known - but was nevertheless surprised - when he pulled the yaaaawn-and-now-my-arm-is-around-your-shoulders magic trick! I am not kidding. This move, which I thought could only be observed in action in the fictional world of Happy Days, is apparently alive and flourishing. To his credit, I think it was a risky move. But, um, having neither attempted nor received any flirtatious gestures whatsoever up to this point, it was just a bit much. The conversation all night had felt a bit mechanical. A lot of stuff about work, occasionally a polite question about family members or friends, but there was never a point where I felt we were really connecting. Anyway, after breaking the physical contact barrier, he did a lot of shoulder and arm stroking for the rest of the movie, which was not off-putting, but again definitely not inspiring, either.<br /><br />If I were smart, I would have said thank you for a lovely evening right after the movie. But alas, I did not think quickly and ended up agreeing to go "look for food." Wandering downtown of a Friday night looking for a bar with all the NYU undergrads running wild all over the place was a terrible idea. We eventually took the train to a reliable bar in Brooklyn, had a drink, Movie-boy started yawning, and we decided to call it a night. A valiant effort by all parties. But unfortunately, I got an email the following day saying "we should hang out again when I'm not so tired and you're not getting over a cold!" I really doubt it was the cold, though. I'm going to have to be direct and let him know I'm not interested. Not looking forward.<br /><br />Date #3 (first date) with the ESL instructor. This was a girl on OKC whom I emailed randomly because I thought she looked intriguing in her photos and her profile seemed to hint at things but gave few details. I kind of wanted to find out what she was all about, but didn't expect to actually hear back from her. On the contrary, she responded quickly and asked questions back, and we were soon emailing back and forth once a day or so. We decided to meet up this weekend, and the only day we were both free happened to be Sunday. The fact that it was V-day went (thankfully) unacknowledged, and we decided to have afternoon tea at Tea&Sympathy, this British tea house in Greenwich Village that we'd both heard a lot about. Conversation was good - she was a really good listener and as the date went on, began to tell really good stories. After several hours at the tea house, we decided to take a walk in the neighborhood. First to look at the dogs in Union Square (none, sadly), and then to go walk on the High Line. She's been in the city for many years and knew a ton about all the buildings and the piers and the high line itself, and just seemed like a great person to explore with. We ended up at the Cubby Hole, a tiny lesbian bar in the village, where we had a drink, but since it was really crowded and loud, decided to move the party to Brooklyn (a trend?), and ended up at Ginger's, another lesbian bar, this one in Park Slope. The conversation flowed really well, we went from city life to our childhoods to coming out stories to bizarre work stories. Every once in a while, it would get quiet, and we'd be like, "I'm so glad we did this!" Basically, it was a totally cute first date. Finally, something like six hours later, we decided to call it a night and said goodbye at the subway station. Traded texts when we got home. I think we'll be hanging out again.<br /><br />Date #4 (another first date) with the native Brooklynite. This was tonight, a rescheduling of last Friday's attempt to meet at an installation at PS1 called The Meeting. So, instead of going to the installation (which they open an hour before sunset and is just a room with a hole in the ceiling and orange light that makes the exposed section of the sky look super-super blue), we ended up just meeting for a tea date at a tea house sort of half-way between our houses. I had walked from a yoga class and she was already there when I got there. We ended up chatting on the couch for about an hour before the place closed down and for another, like, 15-20 minutes outside while she had a cigarette and then just standing in the snow. She's super-cute in a punk girl kind of way, but I couldn't tell if she was shy or kind of thought I was not her type or something like that. We talked about all kinds of stuff, she seems like an adventurer in the world, which is really attractive, but I couldn't exactly get a read on whether she was comfortable, much less romantically inclined. No future dates were discussed, though we did talk about music venues in the city and out-of-the-way places to go. I'll probably email her after all the houseguests leave and try to set up an adventure. I'm really curious what she thought.<br /><br />Whew, okay, that was the longest post ever. Thanks for reading this far. There's something about spilling your guts to the internet like this that makes me feel a little self-conscious. I know the whole "does blogging=exhibitionism?" question is so 2003, but I've never blogged about personal stuff before. So, double sorry for the navel gazing. But there are some more dates in the works, so I'm going to suck it up and power through. And then we'll vote! (Just kidding.) Later, dudes!bikingprettyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06656318870184563252noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-5560126814976071992010-02-13T18:06:00.000-08:002010-02-13T18:24:09.176-08:00Goodnight, but not GoodbyeLast night I spent the night at Mr. Brown Eye's apartment. It was awesome. Because of this, I'm officially bowing out of the date-along project. Mr. BE and I are not in an Exclusive Relationship by any means, we're not really sure how to define what we are, but I just don't have time and social stamina to continue to see him <span style="font-style: italic;">and</span> date a bunch of people. I might still post in the blog on the very rare occasion, but I will definitely be reading, posting comments, and inviting new bloggers.<br /><br />Cheers!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-79176187653237613042010-02-12T23:44:00.000-08:002010-02-12T23:50:33.015-08:00Everyone Loves a Drunk Post, Right?Alright, I just got in from hanging out with Falafel. I believe I posted about the last time we hung out: we met out in MY town, got drunk, glimmer of disappointment when I said I was leaving, me just wanting to be friends, etc. <br /><br />Well, it's been two weeks since then, and in that time, I have listened to music he's given me, chatted with him online, and had TWO dreams about making out with him. <br /><br />So. <br /><br />He is in town this weekend and. We made out. Just kissed. <br /><br />Wow. <br /><br />This is weird.lalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17224239353585724830noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-46032080948032673932010-02-12T11:09:00.000-08:002010-02-12T11:23:07.983-08:00New planned date with.. dumdumdum... FarceSo, I've been having some e-mail contact with this guy who I will call Farce. Because he's in a student's farce. Which is fun! He seems super nice, friendly, a bit geeky. I've seen pictures and he's cute! Now as to what I hope will happen on the date kind of depends on what happens in the next paragraph... BUT! In any case, Farce asked me out to eat "semlor", http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semla which I adore so I'll go for that for sure.<br /><br />Oh and of course you're just dying to know what's going on with Cookies. Right? Right! So we've been in contact every now and then, and met up a couple of times more. He's super sweet actually, kind of hyper, I never get bored in his company, that's for sure! He's brought up the whole "so, are we a couple now?" question and I just avoided it... It is just all so sudden and intense so I think there's no need in rushing things, you know? And I kind of don't know how trustworthy he is. To be fair, he's always showed up when he said he would, driven me to school and the like in the mornings, taken me out to dinner (which I <span style="font-style: italic;">never</span> go to normally) and all of those things. But he's just so different from all the people I know! Which doesn't need to be a bad thing. Ah I digress! The plan for Valentines is to build some things, and to watch a horror movie. So much fun! :)<br /><br />And I haven't heard back from Waterplant Dude in ages. We exchanged texts and e-mails just after the date, but now haven't heard anything in more than a week. Hm.. I think I'll e-mail him to see how he's doing. He's fun, I liked him, though he was a bit boring in comparison. Though, when I really think about it, in the long run, that is probably a good thing.<br /><br />So on the one end we have Farce and Waterplan Dude, who both are the kind of guy I normally go out with, and on the other side of the spectrum we have Cookies who is nothing of the kind. Only time will tell who wins in the long run! :)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-1457768791534085252010-02-12T09:17:00.000-08:002010-02-12T09:40:35.494-08:00Oof.Okay, where've I been.... Well. I've been having a rough time and it's making my datealong participation really hard. I'm sorry, I'm not much fun right now! I've even had some nice contacts and went on another good date, and I'm just.... exhausted. I can't bring myself to keep in touch with any of them. But the thing is, this ALWAYS happens. Gaahh!! I have trauma issues that make it scary for me to be touched and sometimes even looked at. And I'm in the middle of a confrontation and I feel so vulnerable...... But on the other hand, goddammit, I am a healthy red-blooded American lady and I goddamn want to date. Agh, I'm so frustrated.<br /><br />I actually have a third date planned with Date #1. He is super, super nice and has not made the LEAST bit of a romantic overture toward me, which makes him feel nonthreatening. Heh. When he emails me, he asks about things that are going on in my life. He's very friendly and easy to talk to. He asked me out for Valentine's Day dinner, and I said sure but suggested a really casual place (local no-name Thai restaurant) so hopefully this will all just stay friendly. I like him, but geez, I've only met him in person two times. I just don't get wanting to make out or fool around with people you haven't known in person for quite a while---I mean, I GET it, and I think it can be awesome, but it's like my body doesn't get it. I just don't respond or develop a romantic interest in people until my warped little brain has determined them "safe," and that takes a really long time. Which is why I guess this online thing never works for me. Well. ...it's an experience, right?<br /><br />Well, as to why I am single, mystery solved. *groan*Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-86131985730538157892010-02-12T07:31:00.000-08:002010-02-12T07:35:47.365-08:00Quick! What should I wear tonight?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wl64N0SBfiw/S3V1PLdj1ZI/AAAAAAAAAAU/Ro29QMoPUjY/s1600-h/IMG_7537.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wl64N0SBfiw/S3V1PLdj1ZI/AAAAAAAAAAU/Ro29QMoPUjY/s320/IMG_7537.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5437381028755002770" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wl64N0SBfiw/S3V03-8cwlI/AAAAAAAAAAM/MRLhy9sHsT8/s1600-h/IMG_7541.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wl64N0SBfiw/S3V03-8cwlI/AAAAAAAAAAM/MRLhy9sHsT8/s320/IMG_7541.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5437380630257910354" border="0" /></a><br />Pants or skirt?<br /><br />Also, scarf or no scarf?<br /><br />Thank you!bikingprettyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06656318870184563252noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-51822985269628067802010-02-08T09:02:00.000-08:002010-02-08T17:17:34.444-08:00Date 1: Geeking out over beersSo I had my first OKC date last night with the boy with the classic movie character profile name. (I messaged him to say that he'd inspired me to watch the movie.)<br /><br />We met up around 7 at a cute little ale house in Brooklyn Heights and ended up geeking out for a couple of hours over film, grad school applications (his), dissertations (mine), academic publishing...all things I try not to trot out on the first date, cause people tend to find that stuff boring. We had the obligatory conversation about how we got to New York, what we think of our respective neighborhoods, and the daily commute. (That seems to be a more standard thing to talk about around here, though I think it's actually way more boring, cause you know, show, don't tell, right?) After 1.5 rounds (we split his second one), I was pretty starving, so we wandered over to a falafel place down the street where he insisted on buying me a falafel. There was talk of going to museums together (he wants to learn more about art) and movies as we stood on a streetcorner. There was an awkward hug, and then we skipped off to our respective subway stops.<br /><br />So, this is where I admit that I have no idea what I think about this one. On the one hand, movie-character-boy seems super smart in a totally unpretentious way. He admits when he doesn't know a lot about something and shows an interest in my take on things. He's super-courteous, perhaps a little shy even, but not in a way that makes me feel like I have to drive the conversation. He's not exactly super-hot, but not unattractive: thin, glasses, short hair, closely-cropped beard and mustache, and kind of on the young-looking side. If I had to place a bet, I would predict a comb-over in middle age. But that can be cute in a professorial kind of way, right? Anyway, I can't tell if it was first-date shyness, manners, or a lack of chemistry, but there was no flirty joking, spontaneous touching, or anything like that. Now that I think about it, I'm realizing that I really wasn't as playful or silly as I usually am with my friends. I'm really into this kid's brains, but I wonder what he'd be like on the dance floor. I'm kind of looking for both. So, should I give it another go? Perhaps in a more spontaneous atmosphere? I wouldn't want to get stuck in the museum-movie zone with him, unless it were understood that we were just going to be friends/activity partners. But on the other hand, I worry about drawing people out this way and making them think I'm really into them when I'm just being playful and getting a sense of what they're like in different situations. Hmmm...this might take some planning.<br /><br />*update* Movie-boy just called about going out again on Friday and the movie he suggested is...wait for it...The Man Who Fell to Earth! Okay, I will stop being a judgmental beyotch now. Woohoo!bikingprettyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06656318870184563252noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-74433699867065721502010-02-06T04:21:00.000-08:002010-02-06T04:30:40.632-08:00Second date with cookiesWas fun! And somewhat... weird. First of all he got delayed an hour, which was fine because I was at home in any case so I just watched <span style="font-style: italic;">500 days of Summer</span> which was actually a quite good movie! Anyways, we had some dinner and then just went driving around in town and chatted for an hour or so in a parking place. We were going to go playing snooker but all the places were either closed or filled with people, so what can you do, right. It was... strange. One of the stranger dates I've been on. It was nice, but I also kind of told him that he really should go seek professional help since his self esteem is totally shot. For some reason he thinks of himself as fat and ugly which is, uh, just not true. Come on, with 8% body fat you're clearly not fat. And ugly, well, he works as a model/dancer so obviously he's not ugly either. Which of course has nothing to do with the self-image you have.<br /><br />Before the date we kind of had a constant contact going on which was nice, afterwards we haven't had much contact. Which probably has a lot to do with the fact that I said "uh... you don't have to constantly compliment me, you know that right?"<br /><br />Oh well, now I kind of miss the attention :) And we haven't had the "so when shall we meet up next time" discussion, so maybe he doesn't want to have a next time. Which is ok I guess, but it has sure been interesting meeting someone who is just so, so different!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-69105705851705237902010-02-05T12:50:00.000-08:002010-02-05T13:13:10.349-08:00Insecurity and dating.The insecurity bomb went off in my head today.<br /><br />My date with F. is cancelled, likely permanently. His reason is that he has some drama in his primary relationship caused specifically by polyamory and doesn't know when/if it may be resolved. He expressed disappointment and frustration because there were "sparks" between us and this is now a lost connection.<br /><br />Of course I think it's me - that I've said something wrong and of course I can't ask (how pathetic is that?)<br /><br />So what can I do to turn this around?<br /><p>1. I can believe that he cancelled the date for the reasons he gave.</p><p>2. I can continue to believe that he found me attractive and interesting.</p><p>3. I can be proud of myself for being truthful in all our correspondence about myself.</p><p>Rejection is inevitable. I just hope that I can learn to take it in stride.</p>Eloquenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325515685968431832noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-39739087335842482772010-02-04T20:56:00.001-08:002010-02-04T20:56:45.435-08:00It's official: Mr. M is an insincere superflake.<br>Also official: The Man calls me his girlfriend :)Eloquenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325515685968431832noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-839541290037159864.post-48514794031572387382010-02-02T21:15:00.000-08:002010-02-02T21:48:25.200-08:00Datethisbitch #3: The SmilerOkay, so sometimes you meet people from the internet, and you think "man! he/she is so cool! Why on earth does this person have to meet dates on the INTERNET? Hm, do I have time to go to the bathroom and sob into the mirror for an hour?" And then, sometimes, you meet people and your first thought post-handshake is "I absolutely know why this person cannot meet dates in real life." Case in point: The Smiler.<br /><br />I call him The Smiler because that was all he damn did. The WHOLE. TIME*. I seriously got maybe eight words out of this guy. I met him at a bar that I really like, a bar that is fully decked out in taxidermy and weird objects and lights and beads and shit. He commented on how cool it was, and I made a funny joke about Chili's. He laughed, and then when the laughter stopped, he looked at me and said... nothing. Okay, that's cool. I don't mind being the one to get the conversation going. I asked him about his work. He told me where it is located, and that he hates it. I asked him what it was he does at work. He told me really boring web design, and he hates it. Ok.... so what would you like to do instead? Well..... I'd like to work with food. Oh! how interesting! Are you a chef? Yeah, I went to culinary school, and I worked at a couple restaurants... And then nothing. A good conversation would start, and then just... stop. And he would just sit there and smile nervously. I had to prompt every single time for more info. ("What kind of restaurants?" "Did you like it?" "What kind of food do you like to make?")<br /><br />I don't think I am an overbearing person, conversation-wise,** although I can be a bit of a chatterbox if you get me going. But there was just no give and take here. Over the hour-and-a-half date it went from awkward-cute to odd to unbearable. Finally I was so uncomfortable that I said I'd better get home, I had to work tomorrow.<br /><br />It was 8:30.<br /><br />Too bad, Smiler. I dunno, maybe he didn't like me? Anyway, moving on.<br />Date #4 is Thursday night. Dinner in Berkeley! This guy seems really funny. The downside: he continually---throughout his profile AND our message exchanges---refers to himself in the third person. Is Jimmy gonna like me?<br /><br />Oh: and Rebel sent me a message and asked me out again. So I guess I have to negotiate the thoughtful-but-firm refusal. So bad at this....<br /><br /><br />*And because it sounds sort of ominous, right? Like Dick Tracy, or Batman!<br /><br />**Then again, a year ago I didn't think I was a total BITCH, and one of my readers will contend that he hated me for several months because I was exactly that to him over Thanksgiving dinner. So please do correct me if I'm wrong.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com4