Introductory Post: Freckles

Hi, I'm Freckles. I'm a 24 year old female and I've recently decided to give OkCupid a shot seeing as most guys who were seriously hitting on me were either 35-40 years old. A bit too old for my liking.

I almost gave up on OkCupid. Maybe I'm super picky, but I don't find men who tell me how lonely they are very attractive. I also do not appreciate my self portraits being criticized, thank you very much. If you like me, don't message me to tell me my photos are all wrong.

Finally a message came that was worth responding to. It was well written and it was evident that my profile was read before a message was created. And he was cute, not in his 30s (or 40s+) and intelligent. All good things.

Soon, a date was set up. Dinner. My nerves were all frazzled but we clicked pretty immediately.

He's from a small-ish town (like I am) and he smiled a lot. We talked about topics that ranged from the silly to the serious. He seemed to find me humorous and I happened to find him charming.

So charming, in fact, that I got into his car to continue the date at a bar. We got a few more drinks there and listened to a crazy conglomeration of music. (The music seemed to be mostly from our middle school and high school dance days.)

And at the end of the date, we hugged (and then kissed a bit) and we went our separate ways.

I've already started the ball rolling on date #2. I hope it goes well, I got good feelings from this guy.

For blogging purposes, I've decided his name will be "Jude."

First post AND first online date

Ok so, a little background: I'm a 30 year old woman who recently ended a 2 year LDR with my late husband's best friend. Most of my previous dating experience predates test messaging, Twitter and Facebook and was usually with people who still lived with their parents. I decided I need to actually DATE and be single for awhile. I joined OKCupid about a week ago to meet some guys and have some fun.

So far, I turned off the IM within a day or two because it was just distracting, ignored a few guys, messaged a few guys and actually went out with one and need to make plans with another. I'm not much of a drinker (and have this stated on my profile) so my date (let's call him Jargon) and I talked about playing minigolf. When I texted him to see when he wanted to meet up, he called me to say he was getting food with some friends right next to the minigolf place and did I want to hang out that night. I agreed and met him and one of his friends at the restaurant/bar. We're all in different aspects of marketing, so we had some great conversation about work and the industry in general. Jargon is really fond of some of the latest buzzwords and is all about Twitter and Social Media and Community Building. Jargon and his friend have both drinking for a few hours before I got there it seems.

After Jargon's friend leaves, Jargon tries to be flirty with me--hold my hand, put his arm around me, etc. I tell him I'm really not ready for anything and he says he's not looking for anything either. I have to explain that I mean I'm not ready for anything physical. Meanwhile, Jargon has been drinking this whole time so is somewhat tipsy by this point. When I express my views on drinking and socializing, he tells me how great drinking and getting high is and how he wishes more people would get high more often! Not really the kind of person I want to hang with or was looking for on OKCupid. Lesson learned: match % is only accurate when people answer the profile questions (honestly).

So I'm somewhat out of this

Not because I'm seeing anyone in particular, but rather since I don't have the energy at the moment. Cookies really, really hurt me and my trust in the dating scene. So that started this I guess. And then I was seeing Hair who was nice and all, but we had totally different intentions with it all too, so that was a no. And then I met a wonderful, wonderful girl. Who I stayed the night with, but nothing except kissing happened, mainly due to me being super tired. And now I've heard nothing from her which I'm bummed about actually, damn it I liked her! So now I just don't have the energy for that. Will focus on friends and family and school instead. I'm seriously considering taking a white month from dating. Haha, if you had asked me a year ago, there's no way I'd think I got too tired of dating actually! Who knew?

Out of the Project

Hi

It's been forever since I wrote in here. I'm no longer doing the date along as I'm seeing somebody exclusively and it's all rather lovely and we're ticking along nicely. It's not PhD boy from before, it's somebody I dated last year for a couple of months. He writes for a living, so I'm going to nickname him Scribble. I realised that although PhD boy was nice and everything, Scribble makes me much happier and more content, he just *gets* me. And so we've been getting each other for a good few weeks, the sparks are sparkier than with anybody else, he makes me laugh and we give each other butterflies. All the good stuff. Plus hand holding and smooching.

If y'all are (un)lucky, I might share my mightmare dating tales from last year. I have the best worst date stories I think.

I've taken the plunge.

Here's my story: 4 months ago, my boyfriend of 5 years broke it off. I've been getting used to living alone again (the first time in 10 years!) and reconnecting with old friends. I've also been working far too much, and finding myself needing some new social outlets. I've already had a couple crushes- both are totally unattainable dudes who I've known for a long time and admire a lot. One lives across the country, and the other would break a lot of social boundaries (bros before hos, etc). At the prompting of friends and after reading all of the other date-a-longers adventures, I signed up on OKCupid.

I find OKCupid to be a strange thing- more or less shopping for people- but entertaining as well. After a couple one liner messages from clueless dudes, I've gotten a couple decent messages as well.

I've already got my first date lined up- he seemed to be OKCupid stalking me, then finally sent a message. We have a lot in common (same industry for work); he comes off as a little juvenile and cocky, but he's a chef- I think it's to be expected. We exchanged a couple messages and have chatted on the IM feature on OKCupid. We're going to pub trivia for our date. I think its a great idea for a first date - its a bar we're both familiar with, and we'll have an activity and something to talk about if we get lost for conversation. I'm not convinced I'll like this guy that much, but I've got to get out of the gate at some point, right?

So now we come down to the important part: what to wear. Notes- I'm coming straight from work, and this is at a pub where jeans and tees are the norm. Luckily its okay for me to wear jeans at work. Onward with the outfits!

#1- casual jeans and awesome red sweater


















#2- a little dressier jeans and red and black blouse


#3- everyone loves the 80's jeans and sweater


It will be raining for days, so rain boots are a likely option for shoes.

Wish me luck - it's been practically 5 1/2 years since I've been on a date. I'm a little nervous!

Single again!

So! Update: no more Lady E, Cookies or other random people. I am single. And now I want to be single actually. Cookies and I broke up whatever we had this Tuesday and have not heard from him since except the odd text. I'm halfways relieved, halfways melancholic. I think it is good though, we were probably not the best match ever (the sex wasn't even that good) I will miss his sweet sweet body though. That's about it. That and (sometimes) feeling like a trophy-girlfriend. I kind of liked that part actually.

I met someone nice this weekend, stayed the night even (no sex though, just saying) :) And it was just super duper nice to be with someone who is

a) really feminist. And actually understands this thing about social structures and what not.

b) is really left-wing.

c) made me breakfast with coffee and everything.

d) actually made plans with me for meeting up again.

I.e. was behaving like a decent normal person.

I doubt that this will make it into dating. But I have to say this: it was good to get some perspective.

I found a note that I had written about a year ago, after the breakup with Fireboy:

It is ok to be alone too.

And that kind of says it all. It is ok to be alone too. And it really is. I do want someone longterm, but I think it is time to take a break from all the dating, relax, enjoy some "me-time" too. It has been cool though to find out that yes. I am actually attractive. Yes I can go to dates and get asked out again. It is not always me who has to do all the work. And you know what? That is freaking rad!

Lala's a creepster.

So I'm back on OKC after the whole lame Falafel boy thing. Last weekend, I was sick, so I messaged people all day long. Which turned out to be kind of silly because I did not have the time to respond to everyone throughout the week, and the responses were overwhelming.

There's a guy, we'll call him PDX. He's new to the area too, but in his profile, he talks about digging the local music scene. It was kind of hard to tell if he had any interest in me, but we exchanged messages about where we get our info from and stuff. And that was it.

Anyway, I went out to an album drop on Friday, by myself (though I knew a couple people there), and recognized him. I had already had a handful of beers so I approached him. We danced together, then hit up another bar after the first one closed, then I kissed him! But I was drunk! And all the details are foggy! But he was too, so I don't feel like the awkward, drunk girl who doesn't remember anything. Well, I mean, I am that girl, but at least he's that guy too.

So we messaged back and forth a bit on OKC yesterday and decided to try a do-over, one that won't start out as drunkfest.

Weird!