Dates #2, 3, and 4

For some reason, this weekend was packed with dates. Not because of Chinese New Year, and certainly not because of Valentine's day. But it just kind of fell that way, and the coming week will be packed with houseguests, and I just don't like putting stuff off. So, now it's quick and dirty update time.

Date #2 with Movie-boy. To refresh your memory: I contacted him first, we geeked out on the first date at an ale house, but I did not see any definite sparks. He called the very next day to suggest a movie later in the week, and heeding the internet's advice, I decided to give it another whirl. So. I'm not going to generalize this particular experience into a definitive answer to the "can spark grow when there's no spark at first," but in this case, the answer is a definite no.

The date itself was pretty good. We went to the a la carte section of Whole Foods for a bite, because it's kind of a pain to find vegan restaurants and because it's cheap if you're already going out. We sat upstairs and chatted, then wandered over to the Rubin Museum, which has a great Friday night movie thing where you buy a drink and get to take it into the movie theater which has chairs and tables with little tea lights instead of movie theater seating. The movie was totally weird and kind of hilarious, and I enjoyed the atmosphere, which was equally divided between old couples who are still totally doing date night and young people clearly on first dates.

So, Movie-boy kept kind of shifting in his seat every time I would move and I could tell right then that something was up. I should have known - but was nevertheless surprised - when he pulled the yaaaawn-and-now-my-arm-is-around-your-shoulders magic trick! I am not kidding. This move, which I thought could only be observed in action in the fictional world of Happy Days, is apparently alive and flourishing. To his credit, I think it was a risky move. But, um, having neither attempted nor received any flirtatious gestures whatsoever up to this point, it was just a bit much. The conversation all night had felt a bit mechanical. A lot of stuff about work, occasionally a polite question about family members or friends, but there was never a point where I felt we were really connecting. Anyway, after breaking the physical contact barrier, he did a lot of shoulder and arm stroking for the rest of the movie, which was not off-putting, but again definitely not inspiring, either.

If I were smart, I would have said thank you for a lovely evening right after the movie. But alas, I did not think quickly and ended up agreeing to go "look for food." Wandering downtown of a Friday night looking for a bar with all the NYU undergrads running wild all over the place was a terrible idea. We eventually took the train to a reliable bar in Brooklyn, had a drink, Movie-boy started yawning, and we decided to call it a night. A valiant effort by all parties. But unfortunately, I got an email the following day saying "we should hang out again when I'm not so tired and you're not getting over a cold!" I really doubt it was the cold, though. I'm going to have to be direct and let him know I'm not interested. Not looking forward.

Date #3 (first date) with the ESL instructor. This was a girl on OKC whom I emailed randomly because I thought she looked intriguing in her photos and her profile seemed to hint at things but gave few details. I kind of wanted to find out what she was all about, but didn't expect to actually hear back from her. On the contrary, she responded quickly and asked questions back, and we were soon emailing back and forth once a day or so. We decided to meet up this weekend, and the only day we were both free happened to be Sunday. The fact that it was V-day went (thankfully) unacknowledged, and we decided to have afternoon tea at Tea&Sympathy, this British tea house in Greenwich Village that we'd both heard a lot about. Conversation was good - she was a really good listener and as the date went on, began to tell really good stories. After several hours at the tea house, we decided to take a walk in the neighborhood. First to look at the dogs in Union Square (none, sadly), and then to go walk on the High Line. She's been in the city for many years and knew a ton about all the buildings and the piers and the high line itself, and just seemed like a great person to explore with. We ended up at the Cubby Hole, a tiny lesbian bar in the village, where we had a drink, but since it was really crowded and loud, decided to move the party to Brooklyn (a trend?), and ended up at Ginger's, another lesbian bar, this one in Park Slope. The conversation flowed really well, we went from city life to our childhoods to coming out stories to bizarre work stories. Every once in a while, it would get quiet, and we'd be like, "I'm so glad we did this!" Basically, it was a totally cute first date. Finally, something like six hours later, we decided to call it a night and said goodbye at the subway station. Traded texts when we got home. I think we'll be hanging out again.

Date #4 (another first date) with the native Brooklynite. This was tonight, a rescheduling of last Friday's attempt to meet at an installation at PS1 called The Meeting. So, instead of going to the installation (which they open an hour before sunset and is just a room with a hole in the ceiling and orange light that makes the exposed section of the sky look super-super blue), we ended up just meeting for a tea date at a tea house sort of half-way between our houses. I had walked from a yoga class and she was already there when I got there. We ended up chatting on the couch for about an hour before the place closed down and for another, like, 15-20 minutes outside while she had a cigarette and then just standing in the snow. She's super-cute in a punk girl kind of way, but I couldn't tell if she was shy or kind of thought I was not her type or something like that. We talked about all kinds of stuff, she seems like an adventurer in the world, which is really attractive, but I couldn't exactly get a read on whether she was comfortable, much less romantically inclined. No future dates were discussed, though we did talk about music venues in the city and out-of-the-way places to go. I'll probably email her after all the houseguests leave and try to set up an adventure. I'm really curious what she thought.

Whew, okay, that was the longest post ever. Thanks for reading this far. There's something about spilling your guts to the internet like this that makes me feel a little self-conscious. I know the whole "does blogging=exhibitionism?" question is so 2003, but I've never blogged about personal stuff before. So, double sorry for the navel gazing. But there are some more dates in the works, so I'm going to suck it up and power through. And then we'll vote! (Just kidding.) Later, dudes!