.....like, really, no reason at all...
But before I get started on him, let me say that I am only a couple dudes into my ten date challenge, and I can already see that this is going to do me some good. A friend of mine called this datealong "Dating School" for me, and really that is pretty accurate. The point of all this for me is not to meet Mister Right but to practice, to try myself out in a bunch of different situations with a bunch of different people. It feels very different to think about whether I'd like a second date with Guy X when I can literally see other possibilities. I'm one of those people who tends to think every guy I like is IT for me, which is not a good thing when their behavior takes a turn for the worse and I start making excuses for it.
And so, I maintain that I will see out this ten date challenge, that I will keep slogging away with OKC, and that even if it does happen that I meet someone who I 'specially like I will keep going out with new people. How did I put this to Catherine the other day? It is good to move very slowly into investing in people. Yeah.
So! Date #2.
I met Rebel at a restaurant that even the people who make fun of me for liking admit has the BEST MILKSHAKES EVER. He was cute, and not chubby like I had expected him to be because his profile photos are sort of... nonspecific. One of the first things he revealed was that he is from Orange County. I tried not to let this color my impression of him (the OC is notoriously wealthy and conservative, and people from there have a er, reputation) but as the evening went on he did seem like kind of a dilettante. He has a job in graphic design that he claimed his company practically begged him to take. I asked him what kind of design he does. "You know when you're on a website and you see those double-underlined words, and when you hover over them an ad pops up?" "Yes," I replied. He smiled. "That's me." Hmmm, cool. Well, we all gotta eat, right? And own a car. (No small feat in San Francisco.) And go to art school just for kicks. And buy "several hundred dollars" worth of paintbrushes and then never use them because oil paint has toxins. I sure don't think it's BAD to have money, but I also think it's good to be aware of one's privilege, and put genuine thought into how you spend your money and stuff. But whatevs.
So Rebel is in his mid-thirties, and he kept saying things that made him sound 17. Things like:
--"I have a real problem with authority figures."
--(in response to an offer by a parent to share a home) "I could never live with my parents again. I just can't stand anyone telling me what to do."
--"I don't do well with having a boss."
--"I just don't care about grades." (yes, he really said that)
--"And then I was like, why do I believe in this stuff?" (Catholicism)
(Oh, and when I told him about the very religious town I grew up in, he asked me "so are you an atheist now?" in a tone that hinted he was just waiting for me to say "yes" so he could talk about his own lack of faith, and when I said "no, I don't subscribe to any particular religion, but I haven't written them off," he fell into dead silence. Heh.)
Anyway, we did have some things in common, and like I said, he was cute, so I was thinking maybe I should give him one more chance just in case he made an iffy first impression, but my panel of IRL judges nixed it. As they said, if you're not totally into someone from date 1, it's not likely you'll feel any differently on date 2. So, guess it's curtains for the Rebel.
Tonight: Date #3!! Stay tuned!!