Monday, January 25, 2010

Hello, my future dates!

So, I've been following this crazy group saga since the beginning with rapt attention and not a small amount of jealousy. But I knew I couldn't join in until well after the holidays, because I was going out of town. Now that I'm back, I'm super-excited to get in on the action! (Yes, pun intended.)

Since I moved back to NYC this fall, I've been taking steps to meet new people and put myself out there more. I've been adamantly single for a couple of years now, which I think has done me a lot of good. I'm a bit more laid back and optimistic about relationships now. I have a pretty good idea of what I want and don't want. And most importantly, I'm kind of ready to jump back into the pool. Last week, I joined up on OKC and have been having a lot of fun ogling people's profiles and secretly adding to my favorites list. I will soon send messages to a bunch of them and start getting out there.

I do have one question I want to throw out there for discussion: what do you do when you get a message from somebody who seems nice, but you have a gut feeling that they're not your type? Judging from the OKC blog, it seems like a lot of people just don't respond to messages from people they're not into. My gut tells me this is kind of rude, but on the other hand, perhaps there is a whole other etiquette calculus to online dating: don't respond unless the person has a chance with you. What do you do?

ETA: I'm from G*, but this is not my G name. PM me if you really want to know!


  1. I'm pretty sure I know who you are! Welcome to the group!

    So... I don't respond. But that then makes me have an orange or red dot that says "responds selectively" or something. I'm not sure what it says, but I'd be interested to know in what my profile looks like to other people.

    But that orange or red makes some people skip contacting me altogether. Which I guess is what I'm going for (from the guys I'm not interested in), but it worries me that Mr. Right may not even bother.

    Also, I turned off the chat feature because I just can't handle dealing with random dudes popping up out of nowhere. There's no good way to say "I'm not interested" when chatting. If I have a good rapport with someone through okc messaging, then I'll give them my gmail handle for gchatting.

    Good luck on your dating ventures bikingpretty! I can't wait to hear about it!

  2. I don't respond. I think that's what most people do. I get about 1 response for every three messages I send.

    And, how do you turn off chat???

  3. You turn off chat by clicking on the chat icon in the lower right hand corner of the screen and then there's an option to turn it off. It warns you before you do it, and then the chat icon turns from black to gray.

    I ignore messages, and chats, from people I'm not interested in. I have met some interesting people from the chat feature so I like to keep it on sometimes.

  4. So I thought some more about this and realized that if I messaged somebody and they wrote me back but weren't actually interested in dating, I'd be annoyed that they were wasting my time. I'm going to stop feeling bad right about now.