Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I'll try anything once! (this will come back to haunt me)

I have a weekly happy hour group. It's more of a professional thing than a social thing. I mean, it's social and it's professionals that I like, but it's not a place where I'm likely to meet men. There are men at the bar outside of our group, but well, a lot of them are their with girlfriends and I'm a wimp about approaching people in person. I need to work on that.

Anyway, this whole thing came up in conversation last night. At first it was just with a couple of the women in the group, but then it was with a couple of the men. That was a humorous conversation. One man, my former supervisor, in his mid/late-30s I think, has been married for a very long time to the women he met early on in college. He hasn't dated in 15 years or more. The other, a co-worker in his early 50s, is a confirmed bachelor sort. Previous marriage, possibly tempestuous, and a string of relationships that are long term, but never come with a ring.

Talking about being 31 and dating was interesting. They like me and want to be helpful and supportive, but live in a complete other world. I'm going to hound my boss about some of his hockey teammates though. The take of the bachelor, when it was all said and done, is that men are lazy. He talked about once trying and giving up when he tried to type something in French in his profile, which the system didn't allow. Clearly, this is the crux of the issue for some men.

(I've had a funny email exchange with one of those--he responded to my ad to say, "Wow, great idea, good luck," but told me, when I asked if he wasn't interested in being one of my dates, that he can't be one of a string of guys and he's waiting for his one and only princess. This is an AHA! moment. Too many people are doing this--sitting around waiting for one perfect person to fall in their lap. I include myself in that, I've done it. But now that I'm trying to take a different approach, it irritates me. How do you ever meet that person if you don't try out people? Hmm?)

But, back to my point.

I get an email from my former boss, from his wife initially, who heard all about this last night too. It's a news article about a new website here locally.

I'll try it of course. Why not, right?

Have any of you ever tried ? I know it's not everywhere, but Agnes could do it. I've been on three. Same sort of experiences as dating everywhere else--one date, not with anyone that I see any serious potential in but wouldn't mind having a second date with, but nada from their end. It's still a fun thing though. The complete mystery and unknown of the whole thing. I need to pick some evenings this month and set some up. Those could help me bridge the gap to 10, right?


  1. "Too many people are doing this--sitting around waiting for one perfect person to fall in their lap. I include myself in that, I've done it."

    I know I used to do this. Or I would get in my head that a certain person was that perfect person and then he'd turn out not to be, and that would be disappointing.

    But that's partly why we're all doing this project, right? Because we're tired of waiting, and we're ready to take action!

  2. Whilst I never waited for the one perfect person, I've definitely built people up in my head.
    I'd build up a image of how the man I was talking to would be in real life based on how he presented himself on the internet. Then when it wasn't like that in real life, I'd get all disillusioned with dating and men and even the internet, when actually it was me having rather false expectations of somebody.

    I don't get how this guy think the perfect woman will find him if he's not actually looking for her. I like a romantic movie as much as anyone else, but I'm not convinced that many relationships start in a diner over a hilarious mix up with the eggs, you know?